Getting Used To My New "Pouch"

I think I've gotten the hang of telling the difference between when I'm hungry and when I'm full.  I've moved past the full liquid diet stage and on to the pureed.  For most of the last few days I've eaten soups, mashed potatoes, fruit smoothies, and homemade oatmeal.  It's rougher than the full liquid for some reason though. 

I'm putting myself under a lot of pressure to get it right.  It's hard not to beat myself up over not spending hours looking over recipes and preparing food.  The full weight of my new life really hit me earlier this week on my way to work.  The need to do everything perfectly is a thought I have to contend with on a near daily basis. The idea that I need to succeed on my first try at anything or else it was all a failure is something that hasn't really done much good for me in my life.  The higher the stakes the more anxiety I feel towards achieving my goal.  It's something I'm going to have to wrestle with when adjusting to the band.  I have to keep reminding myself it's a process, I'm bound to stumble, and that so long as I continue forward I'm doing good work.

My anxieties were somewhat mitigated yesterday when I went to see my surgeon for a follow-up visit.  He removed the tape that was covering my incisions and told me that they looked healthy and were healing fine.  Infection of the port incision (the one with the saline injection port) is the site of most infections and can be pretty serious if it gets infected.  He also talked to me about how I've been doing, my recovery, and how I've managed to eat over the last week.  I told him I was eating fine.  I've had no problems swallowing food, vomiting, or feeling nauseous.

I let him know that even when I eat the recommended amount of food I'm still hungry.  It's something that had been bothering me all week (although I suspected some of the hunger had to do with work), and that I was concerned that I might be eating too little.  He said not to worry too much and that I should eat as much as I needed to while paying attention to how full I am.  Everyone's experience with bariatric surgery is different and I need to find out what works for me using the tips, techniques, guidelines, and recommendations they've given me.  He also mentioned that until I come in for my first fill in September my pouch is somewhat large and can hold more food than it will later. 

It's important for me not to rush this.  I'm impatient and I hate waiting, but with this it's vital for me to give myself time to adjust. 

Weight: 294lbs 
I haven't weighed that much since the fall of 1999.