I've hit the same plateau that I hit about this time last year.  Somewhere around 313 to 318 pounds I hit a wall.  I'm sure part of it is my body's way of trying balance itself out.  Apparently our bodies don't like to lose weight because it likes to maintain a balance.  Given that I've lost about 50lbs since January, it's not hard to understand that my body might take that as a cue that I'm starving and thus it's slowing down.

I think another reason I plateau at this point is that I've spent the last six months on a fairly strict regimen of diet and exercise and, honestly, on some level I'm tired of it.  Don't get me wrong, I feel great and I'm proud of myself, but keeping up that level of self-discipline is difficult for me.  Last night was the first time I've over-eaten in months.  E and I got my pizza last meal (more on that later), and I chose to eat half of it.  For the rest of the evening I felt like crap - no energy, too full to move, irritable, etc...  It might be that relaxing my diet slightly before I need to go on my pre-op surgery will help me improve my morale and make it easier to lose weight after surgery.  Nothing to drastic though.

Finally I think that I still haven't fully adjusted to my new work routine.  I work at a boring, monotonous job where I sit at a desk all day shuffling through papers.  The impulse to snack is overwhelming and due to being bored carrots and fruit rarely cut it.  Between now and my surgery, I've got to come up with some new strategies to keep myself focused.

A lot of people, myself included, get disheartened by plateaus.  While I'm frustrated, I'm taking this one as an opportunity to regroup and refocus.  In some ways hitting this first plateau right before surgery is a good thing because it means the balance in my body will change soon and I'm already 50lbs toward my goal.

Speaking of surgery...

Yesterday (6/29) I got the call that my insurance has approved the operation!  I've got a tentative operation date of July 24th with a pre-op exam on the 19th.  Next week on the 5th I'm getting an EKG and the final blood work that I need, and on the 10th I start my pre-op Atkin's diet in order to shrink my liver.  The smaller it is the less time the operation takes which is less time under anesthesia which makes for a safer surgery.

Needless to say I'm very excited.  This will be the culmination of four or more years of hopes, frustrations, disappointments, hard work, and dedication.  It will be the start of a new chapter in my efforts to become a healthier person.

My goals between now and the 10th are to keep up my diet and exercise, allow myself one last time to enjoy the foods I'm giving up indefinitely, and to acknowledge the good work I've done.  Too often I deny myself the satisfaction of my accomplishments and focus solely on my failures.  If I continue to do that then it will only makes things more difficult.  I'm using the next few weeks to reflect on the struggle to get to where I am now so that I'll be in the best head-space I can be for myself.

Yesterday's Last Meal: Mangieri's Pizza - Alfredo sauce with chicken and bacon.  Pizza has never been a favorite food of mine because I don't eat tomatoes.  Before I discovered pesto and alfredo, I ate my pizzas dry.  Mangier's isn't the best pizza I've had, but their chicken and alfredo is damn satisfying.  It's a thin crust pizza on wheat dough (a mistake for a last meal) so I get more of the chicken and cheese flavors.  It's cut into squares so it's easier to control portions (except for last night) and the middle, crust-less sections make for good breakfast.  All in all, an excellent choice for a last meal.  Pizza and a night of TED Talks on capitalism and western civ - a great way to spend a Friday night.