The Story Thus Far

Before the end of the summer, I'll finally get the bariatric surgery I've talked about getting for the last few years.  For a long time, it's been this nebulous goal that I could hold out in front of me as a way to dodge the responsibility of eating healthy and exercising.  As January of 2011 I started taking it seriously.  I began to eat better and exercise daily and from January to June of last year I went from 363lbs to 313lbs.

In mid-June I moved from the day shift at my job to the night shift in order to accommodate summer school.  In as many months as it took me to lose the weight it took that long to gain it back.  Working night shift is depressing.  In order to deal with the monotony of mindless clerical work, I began snacking again.  Chips, candy, cookies, and sodas helped to pass the time.  It also provided comfort me as working night shift made me feel disconnected to every relationship I had.  Night shift also killed my exercise routine because I spent most of my time before work anxious over having to go to work.

In January of 2012 I got my annual physical and decided that I would start anew.  My insurance required 6 months of medically supervised weight lose so I made regular visits to my doctor.  Again, a healthy diet and regular exercise paid off and I'm down to 323lbs as of this week.  It's a real struggle though.  I'm not sure how others deal with addiction, but for me it's a constant conscious struggle.  Eating right is something I have to think about pretty much all day.  Did I wake up in time to eat breakfast?  Did I make sure to eat enough of the right foods for breakfast?  What sort of food is available for snacking?  Did I get all my fruits and veggies in?  All of that plus the near persistent impulse to eat junk.

A few weeks ago I attended the preliminary seminar that's necessary for bariatric surgery.  This past Tuesday I met with my surgeon for the first time and next Thursday I'll meet with my dietician.  If all goes well, I'll have the surgery by the end of July.

In the mean time I'm still struggling with food.  Exercise is pretty easy for me now.  A mile or two of walking per day barely registers as work at this point.  If it didn't kill my knees I'd start jogging.  I've decided that in the coming weeks I'm going to enjoy some of my favorite meals guilt-free.  After surgery I may never get to eat another chicken fried steak or fettuccine alfredo for years if not for the rest of my life.  I'm not sad about it as eating those foods makes me feel horrible (it's funny how I didn't really notice it when I ate junk constantly), but it will be nice to eat them in healthy portions one last time.